Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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GINGER PEOPLE

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Your momma's so fat: She's willing to risk kidney damage and embarrassing flatulence by undertaking the atkins diet.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

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How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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