What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to th party? Because he was dead.

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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Romney 2012

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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oh hiya come in

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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your joke is so unoriginal. i had heard the joke before.

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb. Two. But it would have to be a very big lightbulb to fit both of them in there.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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You know what's never heard of? Father's Day in Camden.

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If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

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What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

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i love huge wieners.

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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