why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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Halo < COD

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Potato.

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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