man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Toilet Sex, Toilet Sex I Love Toilet Sex!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

CHICKEN it is a chickenly chickeny food we eat WRONG

thumb_up thumb_down -17

'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A recently engaged couple are having sex. The man finishes in just under 3 minutes as usual. The woman then says "I love you" because they've been together for over 2 years and they care for each other very deeply.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There once was a mathematician, a physicist and an engineer in a room without an exit. The ceiling catches fire. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do A Canary and a Groundhog have in common? Nothing, Groundhogs can fly, and Canaries can't dig.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

69

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a horse with out ears? A horse with out ears?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops