stop it ryan vallee

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Why cant little billy jump? He was aborted.

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Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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