What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

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A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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There is this dylectic who can't spell.

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Black Veil Brides.

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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George Bush.

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Women's sports

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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