An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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you

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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A black man walks into a book store.

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What's worse than being hit by a mini van? Being hit by 5 mini vans.

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? Fix it, call a repair man, call the landlord, do the dishes by hand or don't do them at all... your options are endless.

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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