What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

What is big and white, not the moon CC

Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

Why did Riley cross the road? A: I lied he started to then proceeded to get hit by a bus filled with children causing them all to be scarred for life.

Mr. Burns sex scandal.

Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

Why are pirates called pirates? Because it derives from the Latin word, pirata.

How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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