There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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A christian was diagnosed with cancer. He refused chemo and prayed to god. Eventually, he died.

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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What do you call a Mexican from Cancun? A cholo.

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What did the old man say? Nothing he was so old he died.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

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osama bin ladens hiding spot

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Hippopatomous!

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i eat poop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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