how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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The penn state football administration

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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