Two guys walk into a bar, they are both alchoholics and beat their wives.

If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

why is liam baldy because his dad is too

um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Knock knock! Who's There? @HurricaneKris4 on Twitter Ok I'll follow you...

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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