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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

Why did the fat kid break his leg? He got hit by a car

No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

What's 9+10=? 19

anne hatthaway

What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

Women

What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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