What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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If pinocchio said "my nose is going to grow", what would happen?

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Barack Obama

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Q. What did the fat guy get for his birthday? A. diabetes

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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I saw a Chinese guy and a black guy talking to each other today, it gave me hope... For another rush hour movie

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

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Women's Rights

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whats white and gooy liguid goop

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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This is a funny anti-joke. But you probably don't get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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