What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Joay impistato is a fig

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

alston wang

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops