A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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What's Brown and sticky? A stick!

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a chinese man and an irishman walk into a bar. This is odd because these men are from countries extremely far apart from one another

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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minecraft

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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