What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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The penn state football administration

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Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

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Q: When is the best date to walk out your door in New York? A: 9/11

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

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What do chicken babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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You just won the game...

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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