What has two eyes, two arms and two legs........ a woman who lost her baby to a miscarrage.

Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

Where's my tractor?

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

How much did the Holla Cost?

Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

Knock Knock Come in

Why do Jews make sure their cars can stop on a dime? So if something happens unexpectedly when they are driving they have a better chance of avoiding a dangerous collision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...