Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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How do you confuse a Mexican? several large eggs

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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What's my name? I don't know i was asking u.

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whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Whats worse than finding bubba in your house? Getting raped by a rabid racoon..

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Women Voting

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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What happened when a terrorist puts a bomb in a hospital? Everyone dies cause it was a hospital for crippled people

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Why did Adele suck the doctors dick? LOL, did you think the doctor really got her to open her mouth all the time so he could "look at her sick throat"

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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