A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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7

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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2 snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff.... ba dooom chesh

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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