There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Pickles

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Shmellmype. Shmellmype who? HAHAHAHAHA (read out loud)

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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