Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

asian drivers.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

9/11

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

What is the difference between a duck?

A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

Jared Gough is a slut

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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