Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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George Bush.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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A man walked into a bar. He ended up in the hospital being treated for a concussion.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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