A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? One is a sports car and the other is a baby that is not alive.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

Whats more crazy? Stabbing someone or killing someone? I don't know thats why I am asking you

Ass

Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

A child with cancer grows up.

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

Ian is cutie!!!!!;)

What did the black man get on his SAT's? -Barbecue sauce

What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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