Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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