I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue however some roses are pink

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the boy who wanted to jump off a cliff? He jumped off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

GEORGE LOPEZ SUCKS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops