crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

Womens' rights.

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

memes

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because i was keeping his family at gun-point on the other side.

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

why did santa fall of the roof? Because the roof was slippery from the ice.

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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