What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

A man was drinking vodka at his friends party. He got a headache. He told his friend, and his friend said that there was asprin in the cabinet. The man ate some. He died. He was stabbed from behind, and the blade pierced his lungs.

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

what is worse then going to school farlingaye

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

knock knock. Who's there? Jehovah's witness. *Door Locks*

What do men and women have in common? They're both respected members of society, besides women.

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

what smells worse then shit Drew White

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

Did you hear about the Blonde who fell off a cliff You Have? Oh Ok, Have a nice day

What's white or grey or brown or green or black or yellow or purple ? Could be almost anything, really.

Penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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