Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the crocodile depressed? It wasn't; given the primitive anatomy of the reptilian brain, modern biopsychoneurological evidence suggests that reptiles feel only basic emotions such as fear or anger.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Fire extinguishers are sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops