Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

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Why didn't the blonde get into college? She was killed in a car accident.

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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How did the chicken cross the road? By foot.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops