what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

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A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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What do black people eat for breakfast? Cereal.

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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why do i want to get raped because then its not rape

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What's green and has wheels? Green cars.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Knock Knock It's Open!

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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What did the gay man order at Starbucks? Delicious, handcrafted beverages and great-tasting food. The secret to making life better.

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What do you call a black guy in a prison? A warden. You racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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