Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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dear GIRLS, roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad i will be there too not in the cage but laughing at u .

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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Why do they call it a clock radio?... because it's both.

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What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 'Cause 7 slept with 8 and punched 4 in the face.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A Nazi and a Communist walk into a bar. 10 million Slavs die.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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