On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Yes. Just Yes.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Two blondes walk into a bar. There is a fat man there, but nobody talks to him

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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"Up to 50% off."

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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Why did he walk the dinosaur He took an arrow to the knee so much the DJ didn't was paper-plates.

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Rebecca Black

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Take my wife- to the store.

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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