Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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b

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A man walks into a bar. Now I have to kill you, because that's top secret information.

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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whats worse than not getting what you want for christmas? a child melester

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Do you need any assistance?

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops