How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

whats white and gooy liguid goop

girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff. whats blue and fluffy? pink fluff holding its breath.

What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

Q: What do you call a women with 2 bowling pins? A: A women with 2 bowling pins.

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

why do black people hate chainsaws? the noise they make- run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run nigga nigga

If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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