who farted your mother

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Q: Why do Japanese people have eyes that look like they're stretched to the side of their head? A: When they are born, they come out head first, and their eyes are stretched to the side of their head and are stuck in that position due to the sticky, glue like substance found inside a woman's stomach.

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who is s***ing in my garden?

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How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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Does it not sound kinda fun to keep slapping someone that always turns the other cheek?

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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