knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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see ya

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fabien

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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