I like my woman like I like my coffee. Good.

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Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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What's red and green and goes around and around? A frog in a blender

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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silly rabbit, rape is for babies

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Kah-________-

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What's worse then being HIV positive? Catching the cold the next day.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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Dancing Potatoe!

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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