what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

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What do you call someone who is blind and deaf? Dumb.

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Blonde Entrepeneurs

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Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

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Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney loves you.

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What do you get when you divide 60000 by 30? A Number

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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