What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

A fat boy walked into a party

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

A: Knock Knock! B: No ones home.

Women's rights.

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

What's brown and sticky? Poo

why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

like for a handjob.

If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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