Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Haiku Haiku's are easy But Sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to the man who dropped his soap? Nothing he picked it up and lived a happy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a dude goes to vegas and loses his money, the moral of the story is not to trust the internet this story was written by The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops