Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

What's white and sticky? Glue

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

Tim's gay.

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...