Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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how did the little girl die cancer

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I smacked my crotch with the back end of a hammer. I got a free vasectomy.

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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Why do I hate Jews? - Because they use to much space in the oven.

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roses are red Jacob's a Jew the holocaust was funny Haha f**k you

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a black guy

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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what's worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped!

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How do you know when Taylor Swift is dead? When you don't hear Boyfriend songs anymore

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Women's rights.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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