The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's white and sticky? Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock No one answers....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks, and goes home an hour or so later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tim's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +13

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops