- Anti Joke

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

A woman leaves the kitchen.

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

These might be offensive Events: * The Black Plague * The Columbine High-School Massacre * The Enron Scandal * The Great Depression * Hurricane Katrina * The Iraq War * Krakatoa * Mt. Vesuvius * September 11 2001 * Titanic * World War I and II People: * Adolf Hitler * Al Capone * Attila the Hun * Blackbeard * Caligula * Charles Manson * Ed Gein * Elizabeth Bathory * Idi Amin * Ivan the Terrible * Jeffery Dahmer * Josef Fritzl * Josef Mengele * Joseph Stalin * Kim Il-sung * The Ku Klux Klan * Nero * Osama bin Laden * Pol Pot * Saddam Hussein * The Taliban * Torquemada * Vlad the Impaler Diseases: * AIDS * Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis * Bubonic Plague * Cholera * Chronic Diarrhea * Cystic Fibrosis * Dysentery * Ebola Virus * Gonorrhea * Herpes * Leprosy * Mad Cow * Malaria * Necrotizing Fasciitis * Polio * Rabies * Scurvy * Smallpox Films: * Antichrist * Audition * August Underground's Mordum * Blue Velvet * The Boy in the Striped Pajamas * Cannibal Holocaust * Goodbye Uncle Tom * Gummo * Happiness * Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer * I Spit On Your Grave * Irreversible * Men Behind the Sun * Mysterious Skin * Once Were Warriors * Requiem for a Dream * Salo or the 120 Days of Sodom * Schindler's List * Taxi Driver * Vase de Noces Misc: * Alcoholism * Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders * Arson * Bestiality * Cannibalism * Capital punishment * Castration * Child abuse * Colonoscopies * Coprophilia/phagia * Drug abuse/addiction * Electric torture * The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned * Genocide * Human sacrifice * Losing one's favorite childhood toy * Mustard gas * Necrophilia * Neo-Nazism * One's grandmother dying * Pedophilia * Racism * Rape * Religious intolerance * Stillborn babies * Suicide * Walking on broken glass * Working on weekends Peter1-8

What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

What did the cop say to the people watching the house fire? All right nothing to see here jokes over

Why do black guys have brown skin ? Because there born that way

whats wierder than two lesbians kissing two homos kissing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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