What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Why couldn't the man reach the police on his phone after his leg was hacked off by a serial killer? He had AT&T as a service provider.

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Three kids are standing on a corner. They have red hair, blue hair, and green hair respectively. A man asks the kid with red hair "How did you get your hair red?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man then asks the kid with blue hair, "How did you get your hair blue?" The kid replies, "I dyed it." The man finally asks the kid with green hair, "How did you get your hair green?" The kid wipes his hand across his nose, gathering green slime and replies, "I dyed it."

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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Guy: Im bisexual. Girl: Im thermosexual. Guy: ? Girl: Im only attracted to hot things. Which isnt you.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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