babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

A blonde walked into a phone pole.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

What's red and smells like cherries Cherries

Yo momma so thin, she admitted herself into an in-patient counseling center for anorexic and bulimic patients.

Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

What's white and looks like a refrigerator? A baseball

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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