There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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What did the priest say to the nun? ... I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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stop it ryan vallee

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Q: What did the rectum say to the Anus? A: "Your a waste."

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what did one mental hospital worker say to the other? Billy your not a mental hospital worker, give heather back her clothes so I can escort you back to your cell.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Wayne Gacy.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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