Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I ate your horse.

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i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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I just read the long joke posted earlier. I have no life. :(

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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