What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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My Joke Is The Persons Below Me I I V

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I just flew in from New York and boy are my arms tired. I was jerking off during the entire plane ride.

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what do lions and potatoes have in common? They each drive a sports car, wait neither the lion nor the potato drive a sports car. Sorry to waste your time with this joke that seemed to not really have a meaning or a clever punchline.

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Your mom is so fat, you might be dyslexic

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How did the kid drop his ice he got hit by a train Griffin Cholette

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

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Do you know what they say? Words

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The Police then give the S.W.A.T team the signal, and bust down the door and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door is Carlos Pedrojeuz, a serial killer, meth addict who has been a part of the sex slave trade for a decade. One might think of answering the door next time.

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Which one is hardest?

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Q:Why did the black man shoot the white man? A:The black man happened to be extremely good at paintball.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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