9/11/2001

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Canada

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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who eats pencils asians

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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what's worse then being dumped? NOTHING

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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guess what what? nothing.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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