Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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Anti-Joke Memes? That Shouldn't Be A Thing

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The bear mauls his face off and kills several other patrons before police show up and fire three rounds in it's face.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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