What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

Poop

Why wasn't the woman cooking in the kitchen? Both her hands had been cut off in a severe conveyor belt accident.

How do you get twenty black men in a tiny car? Saw them into pieces.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

Want to hear a joke? Womens' Rights

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: why the long face? he has cancer

whats blue and fluffy? your mothers chest hair!

so there are two muffins in an oven. one muffin says to the other muffin, "hey is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin says, "holy sh*t your a talking muffin."

brian mcgee is gay!

Who has downs this joke

whats funny ? not you i am telling the joke around here

do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

A woman walks out of the kitchen.

how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

What sounds really bad? An accordion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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