Yo mamma is so fat she needs a highly dangerous gastrointestinal bypass and if she dies you will wish she had made more of an effort to diet.

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because once it had inadvertently escaped the farm it was being kept on it was startled and with no concept of road and pavement happened to traverse a road, with no real motive.

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What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops