What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

What did the turkey call the chicken? Nothing, turkeys can't speak, idiot.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

roses are red violets are blue i have alzheimers roses are red

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Why? Because!

I am really good at math debating

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

The Bible

Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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