Why did the baby die? Abortion

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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Do is the Most Famous Line on youtube Answer- Do the Flop

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Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Becuse 7 was a convicted serial killer. >----->

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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When you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, you may want to see what happened, and then promptly clean up the mess so one one slips.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could provide women with more pleasure than the average male.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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The Charlotte bobcats.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Gadaffi

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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