Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

A jewish man walks into a bar because he was thirsty.

Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

I've done a lot of soul searching, and.... I've realized.... the & symbol really looks like a man dragging his butt on the ground.

There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

Well, I have to go eat again "Axel Knight". See you around soon enough, just give me a call if you want me around... Hopefully I find a fucking telescope so I can read the code on the chip thingie... Damn I am hungry. See you around sugartits.

How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...