Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Call or text this number and say whatever 863-670-1547 or you can mail things to his house 252 village crest court lakeland florida 33809

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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what do you call a black man named mike

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wish you were here, To get to the other side!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What's the best thing to say to a deaf person? Nothing. They are hearing impaired and won't hear you.

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JESUS SAYS PICTURE HERE ..... Throws a party for 12 people the world still talks about 2012 years latter !

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Why didn't the boy run the marathon? He was cripple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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