What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

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Why did the black man shoot someone? His wife recently left him and he got fired from his job.

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Why did the boy miss the school bus? He died in his sleep

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Why did jack smell smoke in his neighborhood? His house burnt to the ground.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

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A genie came out of a lamp explain?

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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