Why couldn't the pirate get into the adult movie? He had just spent the last of his money at Ihop with his friends, and is now regretting ordering two Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruitys when he was really only hungry for one.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Kah-________-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey, name is Anita, I am Nero`s nurse, he told me to say that if you wish to speak any further, you are going to have to call him and prove you are not some guy. Say Tifa, do you ever play videogames?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down

"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

thumb_up thumb_down

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops