What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

What did the clock say? The time.

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Who am I? Your name is Harvey Jackson. Let's get you dressed so we can go downstairs for dinner. Nurse Holland will be helping you in a few moments.

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

What is the difference between a black guy and shit? One just looks and smells like shit, and the other actually is shit.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens are raised on farms, which are away from society. They are taken care of in pens, and have no way of escaping. Therefore it couldn't have crossed any roads.

What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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