A woman goes into the supermarket and buys a single banana, a canned meal for one and some ice cream. While paying for her items, the cashier looks up at her and says "I can tell you're single" "Oh yeah? How'd you know?" The woman asks. "Because you're ugly as fuck." Replies the cashier.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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Gabe Mercado

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why don't you ask him, o wait he's a chicken, you cant ask him. he is incapeable of speaking.

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What did little John get from reading this. Wait and you will see that the person who you were asking the question will give you a series of awkward faces until they lose interest.

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Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What did the blind and deaf woman get for her birthday? Raped.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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