So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Knock Knock Who's There? Mom Mom who? Open the door idiot

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What is annoying and orange? An annoying orange.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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